Well, it has been 3 days and I am still alive. I can't say I have not been hungry but it has not been too bad. The portions of the entrees are small. But when you have been used to eating and eating and eating a normal portion is going to look small. The food is actually good. No gourmet awards being given out but I have been pleasantly surprised. I think the hardest thing is I just don't like vegetables that much. At least not the non-starchy kid. I don't think the "vegetables" I like are even really considered vegetables in the nutrition world. But like most diets I can have certain vegetables unlimited so I should not be hungry right?? But when I want to eat squash or zucchini just does not hit the spot like chips! It all goes down to the right choices huh? Hopefully I can "reframe" (like those fancy psychology terms?) my idea of what is good and what is a normal portion. I think that is the only way to make weight loss permanent. I am good at losing weight just not keeping it off!
I sure do miss chocolate! There is one day when I get a slice of chocolate cheesecake. I think I might want to do a week with that as my snack every night! Do you think Jenny would approve of that? Probably not.
I have had a few moments where I have wanted to eat just because and I have resisted. That is a win for me. I also went to a family friends house for dinner and they had hamburgers and hot dogs. I resisted the potato salad, mac and cheese and only had 5 chips! That is a win for me too. Them today I went to a friends house for breakfast with the kids and some friends. I took some watermelon because I have a HUGE one which worked out well. Jill made some coffee cake and some monkey bread type rolls and there were breakfast tacos! I ate my breakfast before I went and only had watermelon and 1 bite of the monkey bread! That is a huge win for me. I LOVE monkey bread.
So the week goes on and hopefully I can stay strong. I was measured and they took measurements on Wed. They do measurements every 4 weeks. I look forward to good progress!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Let's try this again....
Well, I have struggled with my weight most of my life. I think I have tried almost every diet there is and some of them are really crazy. I have memories of being in middle school and dieting with my Mom and my sister. Thinking I was soooo fat at the time and wanting to fit in. I look back and think, " Oh, to only be that "fat" again!"
In March of 2009 I decide to try and take control of my weight again and I joined Weight Watcher's. My husband John was very supportive and a friend of mine from work Nora joined with me. I had a lot of success and lost over 25 pounds. I was still "on program" when my husband John was diagnosed with cancer. It was very stressful but I was still going strong. Things got a little tricky when he was in the hospital but I worked really hard to bring my food and not go crazy with cafeteria food. You see, I am an emotional eater. I eat when I am happy, sad, confused, worried, you get the point. I can not relate to those people that don't eat when they are stressed because when I put a piece of chocolate in my mouth I have an instant "relief". The problem is that "high" does not last and I need another and another and another and so on to keep feeling good. So back to my husband. He was in and out of the hospital and I held my own as far as maintaining the weight loss I had attained. I was not losing any more at the time but I was happy with holding my own after awhile (when his cancer diagnosis and prognosis was really bad). He was hospitalized for 6 weeks after a surgery and was finally released from the hospital to go to his sister's wedding. That was around Labor Day 2009. When we got back he started chemo again and due to complications to numerous to go over now, he died within a month. He left his earthly state on October 8, 2009. I guess I did have a few days where I did not want to eat. Where I forgot to eat, but that did not last long. I started finding comfort in food again. I tried to fill the enormous hole and emptiness I felt inside with food. It worked sort of. I would get some temporary relief. I would mask the feelings and try and forget that real issues I was dealing with. So now 9 months later I have gained over 40 pounds since he died. Yes, I lost 25 pounds but now I have gained 40. That is 15 pounds above where I started March 2009. TYPICAL!
I have been wanting to get a handle on my weight but when I was going back to Weight Watcher's and would see the scale go up and up it was just too hard to continue to go. I was not emotionally stable to handle the feelings of failure. But I have been thinking and thinking how I can get back "on the wagon" and be healthier. Besides my weight I am healthy, Dr. Atlas said all my lab work is good. Even my Cholesterol! But I keep getting the feeling that "I am the only parent my kids have left, I have to be healthy". But how do I limit my caloric intake and not feed my emotions and try and lose weight? Am I ready to feel hungry again? I don't think I have been hungry for the last 9 months...my stomach has not been empty at all in that time! But for weeks I have been thinking of a change. I feel horrible about my physical self and that makes it hard for me to be there 100% for my kids. So, I am going to try. I think I am ready to try. The only question is how?
When I think about how I think about Weight Watcher's. It is an excellent program, but I think that right now having so much variety and meal options that I just don't have the time. Especially since I would usually have to cook other things for the kids as well. I think I am going to try Jenny Craig. I know you think "Yuck". But I have heard the food is good...Valarie Bertinelli even says so! But seriously, the idea that it is all there and I don't have to plan too much is freeing to me right now. I feel like I make so many decisions that I have to decide everything with the family. It is just nice to say, "What is in the freezer?" and be eating 5 minutes later. And believe it or not it is one of the few diets that I have not tried!
So tomorrow I have an appointment with Jenny Craig and we will see. I am going out to dinner on Monday night for my parent's anniversary and I am looking forward to that so Tuesday I can start out right! I created this blog to try and help with the emotional part of the diet. To hopefully turn here rather than to the fridge. Let's see how it works!? I have nothing to lose but weight, right?
In March of 2009 I decide to try and take control of my weight again and I joined Weight Watcher's. My husband John was very supportive and a friend of mine from work Nora joined with me. I had a lot of success and lost over 25 pounds. I was still "on program" when my husband John was diagnosed with cancer. It was very stressful but I was still going strong. Things got a little tricky when he was in the hospital but I worked really hard to bring my food and not go crazy with cafeteria food. You see, I am an emotional eater. I eat when I am happy, sad, confused, worried, you get the point. I can not relate to those people that don't eat when they are stressed because when I put a piece of chocolate in my mouth I have an instant "relief". The problem is that "high" does not last and I need another and another and another and so on to keep feeling good. So back to my husband. He was in and out of the hospital and I held my own as far as maintaining the weight loss I had attained. I was not losing any more at the time but I was happy with holding my own after awhile (when his cancer diagnosis and prognosis was really bad). He was hospitalized for 6 weeks after a surgery and was finally released from the hospital to go to his sister's wedding. That was around Labor Day 2009. When we got back he started chemo again and due to complications to numerous to go over now, he died within a month. He left his earthly state on October 8, 2009. I guess I did have a few days where I did not want to eat. Where I forgot to eat, but that did not last long. I started finding comfort in food again. I tried to fill the enormous hole and emptiness I felt inside with food. It worked sort of. I would get some temporary relief. I would mask the feelings and try and forget that real issues I was dealing with. So now 9 months later I have gained over 40 pounds since he died. Yes, I lost 25 pounds but now I have gained 40. That is 15 pounds above where I started March 2009. TYPICAL!
I have been wanting to get a handle on my weight but when I was going back to Weight Watcher's and would see the scale go up and up it was just too hard to continue to go. I was not emotionally stable to handle the feelings of failure. But I have been thinking and thinking how I can get back "on the wagon" and be healthier. Besides my weight I am healthy, Dr. Atlas said all my lab work is good. Even my Cholesterol! But I keep getting the feeling that "I am the only parent my kids have left, I have to be healthy". But how do I limit my caloric intake and not feed my emotions and try and lose weight? Am I ready to feel hungry again? I don't think I have been hungry for the last 9 months...my stomach has not been empty at all in that time! But for weeks I have been thinking of a change. I feel horrible about my physical self and that makes it hard for me to be there 100% for my kids. So, I am going to try. I think I am ready to try. The only question is how?
When I think about how I think about Weight Watcher's. It is an excellent program, but I think that right now having so much variety and meal options that I just don't have the time. Especially since I would usually have to cook other things for the kids as well. I think I am going to try Jenny Craig. I know you think "Yuck". But I have heard the food is good...Valarie Bertinelli even says so! But seriously, the idea that it is all there and I don't have to plan too much is freeing to me right now. I feel like I make so many decisions that I have to decide everything with the family. It is just nice to say, "What is in the freezer?" and be eating 5 minutes later. And believe it or not it is one of the few diets that I have not tried!
So tomorrow I have an appointment with Jenny Craig and we will see. I am going out to dinner on Monday night for my parent's anniversary and I am looking forward to that so Tuesday I can start out right! I created this blog to try and help with the emotional part of the diet. To hopefully turn here rather than to the fridge. Let's see how it works!? I have nothing to lose but weight, right?
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